Saturday, December 27, 2003

"...for the Mighty One has done great things for me, and holy is his name. Luke 1:49

My own mother is now 82. She had a full career as a newspaperwoman. She is author of two cookbooks, and long ago retired from being public relations director of the State Historical Society of Wisconsin. She has collaborated with my father on various journalism publications, traveled to almost every continent and triumphed over many adversities in her personal life. A few years ago, I asked my mother of all that she had done in her life, what gave her the most satisfaction. "I suppose it was raising you and Liz (my older sister)."

"...for the Mighty One has done great things for me, and holy is his name." (Luke 1:49). I am so grateful for God giving me the chance to be wife, mother and pastor. All three roles have given me joy. I'm especially grateful for the closer relationship I have with my mother. My parents are not Christians. When I became a baptized Christian at the age of twenty-seven, they did not understand fully why I made that choice. They did not choose Christianity for themselves. But they never stopped loving me nor did they treat me differently after I made that choice.

Part of being a good mother is letting your children go. Letting them be free to be who they are meant to be. As the mother of a son who is now sixteen and will probably leave home in two years to go away to college, I'm aware of the need to begin to let go of him. Mary, as a mother, is a role model for us in letting go of our children and allowing them to be the people God created them to be. Yes, it was hard for Jesus to go to the cross. And it was hard for Mary, his mother, to stand by and watch him die. Any mother who has lost a child has a soulmate in Mary. Watching a child die -- grieving that loss -- is one of the hardest things a parent will ever have to do.

We talk of the sacrifice God the Father made -- that "He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him may not perish but have eternal life" (John 3:16). But what about the sacrifice Mary made? She gave her son as well. We don't have any record in scripture of Mary trying to stop Jesus from going to the cross. Peter tried to stop Jesus. But not Mary. The only instance of Mary being anything close to an interfering mom is in the second chapter of John's gospel when she asked Jesus to help with the wine shortage.

I love my parishioners. But I want my love to free them, not bind them to me. I am aware I may need to feel loved in return. One of the dark sides of ministry is that pastors/spiritual leaders use others to meet their own emotional needs. In a similar way, a mother may "live through" her children, not allowing them to grow up and be themselves. Mary let Jesus go. Love sets people free. Love never hangs on. It's not what we do for our children but what we teach them to do for themselves that matters in the end.

Can we choose to be more like Mary today? Who can we love today in such a way that sets him/her free? Think about Mary's sacrifice -- her letting go -- and what it might inspire you to do today, for love's sake.

Marianne Cotter

All contents copyright 2003 by the Wisconsin Chapter of the Methodist Federation for Social Action. Permission is granted to United Methodist congregations, individuals and groups to reproduce and distribute this devotional without charge. All other use requires the advance permission of the editor.