Note:  Telling the truth can be painful.  The truth is I wrote this page in July of 2004, long after the war in Iraq began, even longer after was first talked about by the Administration. I don’t know why I didn’t question this war much sooner and oppose it more vigorously more often.

Telling the truth is painful but it can also be helpful in two ways. First, when we find courage to tell the truth, we are become more free, whole, and responsible. Second, remembering our pain can help us be gentle instead of judgmental when we invite/encourage/challenge other people to tell us how they changed their values, views and actions concerning our government’s policies.

I awaken in the darkness - long before dawn’s early light - knowing great evil has been done by the leaders of the United States government and leaders of a few other nations (very few.) Knowing also WE have done great evil - we, the people who gave our permission.

No, we did not give our permission, but we gave our consent and ridiculed any who objected.  No, we did not give our consent, but we did not stop them. Perhaps we could not have stopped them - but we - I - could have WANTED to stop them more loudly/ deeply/ passionately/ consistently.

But even as I listened and read and thought against the war, part of me - I hope a small part only -wanted to believe they might be correct, wanted to trust  they might have sufficient reasons, wanted to trust that out of great loss of life and property and money, some good might come.

Why did I give them the benefit of the doubt? Why did I ignore even for a moment what I know from my life experience?

WAR is a power that poisons one’s heart, a drug-of choice that deadens one’s conscience a god-of-sickness that contaminates one’s mind, a god-of-death that destroys one’s soul.

Even at this distance - through all the filters the authorities - and I - have created to obscure the truth - to deny the facts - to hide the motives - to trivialize the cruelty - to silence the opposition I hear the cries of the children of Iraq - and their mothers and fathers, uncles, aunts, cousins. I see the fear and suffering of the soldiers of the U S (& “the coalition”) - persons young  and not so young now dead - injured - wounded in body, mind, and spirit and the pain of their wives /husbands/children/parents/friends/neighbors.

I tremble For the GENERATIONS of our people who will live with the consequences of the use  - misuse - abuse of our power - military, political, economic, political, for a war which was not necessary, which had no foundation in fact or reason.

Determined to remove from power a man we deemed mad, we, ourselves, have gone mad. One sign of our madness is the President’s new rationalization - “America is safer.” Gone are all the other high-sounding motives and goals. 

How selfish can we be?

When Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, it was not into safety.

            I want to YELL - but no sound arises
I want to CRY  - but no tears flow
I want to vomit - nothing comes.

All contents copyright 2003 by the Wisconsin Chapter of the Methodist Federation for Social Action. Permission is granted to United Methodist congregations, individuals and groups to reproduce and distribute this devotional without charge. All other use requires the advance permission of the editor.